Dear Andreas, Adam,

Hope this finds you well.

I am somewhat worried to inquire as the latest piece you wrote suggests some confusion on your part that perhaps has to do with power cuts and thus broken internet access, or access to news, perhaps your universities defunded access to journals and conferences.  In which case please accept my commiserations.

I do remember Andreas coming to one webinar in April 2022 which we held on Ukraine specifically and that conference in Naples in summer 2023, so one would suggest not all is lost yet, well, besides ability to intake information that fails to dovetail with your pre-existing view of the world.

I say this as I struggle to understand what could possibly stand in the way of at least marginally perceiving a view of one’s interlocutor as we talked for a good hour on the Russia-Ukraine war, regional dynamics, geopolitics, numerous contradictions and complexities of this brutal war.

The spectre of telos haunts academia; creates a magnetic pull so strong its blinding and deafening and makes one turn inwards to rely on doubly teleological nostalgia and own spectre-genic emotions to guide one’s thinking. Many have crushed against those rocks… But, of course, it cannot be you, you know better!

And thank you for being so concerned about my militarism – I so appreciate your concern, makes me feel so seen!

I am writing to reassure you that I am no fan of militarism and to ask to please send helmets (cycling) to my friends and family in Ukraine.

Cordially, Yuli(y)a

At Warmongering Headquarters, Vienna, 2024.

P.S. Thank you for the adrenalin and cortisol (A&C) rush this morning. Really potent cocktail it is! It was my staple when in Ukraine when ruzzia invaded and for months after, well, till today really I can’t shake off this addictive habit (is it a habit by now? Damn, I really must quit!). My doctors tell me to cut it down because my thyroid is not coping and my hair is falling out, digestion is out of whack and my weight keeps climbing up, my face is melting down, sleep patter is a rollercoaster, and oh those damn bags under my eyes… but it is really good for the environment to skip coffee (those pesky transportation emissions and greedy coffee trading corporations!) and the exploited labour must feel the burden shift amidst plantations – so my A&C intake really is a kick into the teeth of the capitalists!!! Plus now I am lodging in Vienna and there is this coffee pod machine – all those pods and electricity are so bad for the planet that I better stick to A&C so please keep writing!

I hear A&C is also magic for all those people in Ukrainian cities and the front – keeps them alert when they need to run to the bomb shelters or duck from missiles in trenches.

Arms solve nothing, as you correctly note, so A&C is to rescue, thanks for the supply!

I hope this inter-imperialist nonsense is over so civilians and soldiers can all be safe in concentration camps, re-education centres, or graves – no risk of NATO there, no Sir!

There is a risk of death and torture and rape and castration but no awful capitalist NATO arms or that rotten EU capitalist money or rule of law!

All those people will then be able to speak Russian instead of having to learn that old imperialist English monstrosity and can forget that silly local bastardisation-dialect they speak across Ukraine.

Life is so simpler; workers are so united with Russian as the only language of the proletariat! I also hear there is this great and smoothly coordinated adoption service in ruzzia where birth parents and relatives do not even have to fill any paperwork to be matched with new loving families in deep ruzzian countryside with clean air, no industry (well, there is some industry that is falling apart or where there is industry the air is really smoke but that is minor details), there is no internet with its rotten social media, no gadgets to distract the kids from exploring their souls while they are seeking to eradicate any trace of banderovite past from their tiny heads – domestic battery rates indicate a healthy environment for that to be properly facilitated. It may well be said that it is a bit sad as no connectivity also means no contact with those birth families but those are likely dead or mutilated or, if alive, are nazis anyway so this is best for the kids, right, some 700,000 of them.  

It is a bit unfair that this inter-imperialist conflict is fought in Ukraine… But, those old buildings needed renovating anyway and in any case we cannot have anything build under USSR (or before) be used by capitalists, better see it rot. “Bomb, don’t build” is a great ruzzian policy and considering that we do not have access to controlled demolition tech in Ukraine so are really grateful for this. The EU “ruzzia bombs, we help rebuild” is so much worse! Those capitalist pigs can stuff it! It would of course be great to have lots of air defence systems or even ways to neutralise the source of missiles but that might lead to militarisation in the totality of capital and we can’t have that!

 Of course, Ukraine needing arms and air defence to push back at the front or protect cities compared to someone somewhere else pursing armament has more to do with their won fears or strategies and Ukraine failing to defend at this point only reaffirm those security fears but listen: militarism is militarism, end of. It will be much better if Ukraine loses and the front moves right next to Poland – those bastards did help our refugees, but they spilled some Ukrainian grain because they are screwed by EU market so let Russia show them what’s what! Of course, we all know that if Ukraine stops fighting, the war will instantly be over, inter-imperialist tensions and imperialism per se will cease to exist and the world will disarm collectively within a fortnight, the Poles, the Caucasus, the Baltics, the Finns, and Swedes (just in case) will have nothing to fear! Russian workers will be free from fascism and white nationalism and islamophobia and hate towards all non-white Russians and Asians once and for all! They will play an important role in rebuilding the headcount of that one brotherly nation (or was it two or how many?) of (white) slavs against those churki and khachi who blew up the concert hall in Moscow! And don’t get me started on those Crimean tartars! Can’t wait!

p.p.s. please remember those cycling helmets! You can add a “peace for the world” or “long live communism” postcard if you are feeling  generous.   

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